COUNSELING SERVICES
SEX THERAPY
WHAT IS SEX THERAPY?
Sex therapy is designed to help individuals and folx in relationships explore and address various aspects of their sexual health and relationships. A specialized form of talk therapy, this practice focuses on issues related to sexuality, gender, sexual orientation, intimacy, and erotic diversity. Each session provides a safe, non-judgmental space to discuss and work through sexual concerns, enhancing overall well-being and satisfaction of individuals and partners.
My approach to sex therapy recognizes and respects the diverse spectrum of gender, sexuality, and relationship structures. I understand that each person’s sexual experiences and needs are unique, and strive to create a therapeutic environment that validates and honors this diversity. Whether you identify as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, are exploring or currently practicing non-monogamy, or are part of the kink and BDSM communities, I am here to support you.
Addressing the diverse aspects of gender, sexuality, and relationships is crucial for holistic mental health. By openly discussing and normalizing these topics, we work to overcome stigma, shame, and confusion. My goal is to empower you to embrace your sexual identities, improve communication with your partner(s), and enhance your sexual experiences. At Chiron Counseling, I am committed to fostering a positive and affirming space for all clients to explore and enrich their sexual health and relationships.
UNDERSTANDING SEX THERAPY
Sex therapy focuses on addressing issues related to sexual health, intimacy, and erotic diversity. Our primary goals with this modality are to help individuals and partners explore, understand, and improve their sexual experiences and relationships. By providing a safe, non-judgmental space, sex therapy aims to alleviate sexual concerns, reduce shame, and promote a healthy, fulfilling sex life.
“At it’s core, sex therapy is talk therapy.”
Sex therapy involves open, honest conversations about sexual thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This process can help you gain insight into your sexual concerns and develop practical strategies for addressing them.
Sessions may include:
discussing past sexual experiences
exploring fantasies and desires
addressing any psychological, emotional, or systemic barriers to a satisfying sex life
Sex therapy plays a crucial role in exploring and understanding sexuality. It provides a supportive environment for us to discuss topics that are often stigmatized or difficult to talk about.
This can include issues such as:
sexual dysfunction
desire discrepancies
body image concerns
the impact of trauma on sexual health
By normalizing these conversations, sex therapy can help you feel more comfortable and confident in your sexual identities.
Sex therapy can also be essential in addressing the diverse aspects of gender, sexuality, and relationships. It recognizes and respects the unique experiences of individuals across the spectrum of sexual orientations and relationship structures. Whether you identify as LGBTQIA+, are exploring non-monogamy, or are part of the Kink and BDSM communities, sex therapy provides tailored support that validates and affirms your experiences.
The ultimate goal of sex therapy is to empower you to embrace your sexuality, improve your sexual relationships, and enhance your overall well-being. By fostering a space for open communication, reducing shame, healing, and providing education and resources, sex therapy can help you achieve a more satisfying and healthy sex life. I am dedicated to offering a positive, affirming space for anyone to explore and enrich their sexual health and relationships.
INCLUSIVE AND AFFIRMING APPROACH
With each session, I remain deeply committed to providing an inclusive and affirming approach to therapy, particularly for LGBTQIA+ individuals, those involved in the Kink and BDSM lifestyles, sex workers, and those exploring non-monogamous relationships. I aim to create a therapeutic environment that recognizes and celebrates the diverse experiences and identities of all clients, ensuring that everyone feels seen, heard, and respected.
This inclusive approach begins with a foundational commitment to affirming the identities and experiences of LGBTQIA+ clients. As a queer, genderqueer, clinician of color, I’ve explored my own identities and challenged norms. I understand some of the unique challenges faced by those who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, and other non-heteronormative identities. I strive to provide a safe and supportive space where you can explore your sexual and gender identities without fear of judgment or discrimination.
This commitment is also extended to clients involved in Kink and/or BDSM lifestyles and sex work. These communities often face significant stigma and misunderstanding. With my clients I approach these topics with openness and respect, recognizing the validity and importance of diverse sexual expressions and jobs. The goal is to provide a space where we can discuss your experiences and concerns openly, knowing that they will be met with empathy and understanding.
For those exploring non-monogamous relationships, I offer support that respects the complexities and dynamics of consensual non-monogamy. I understand that these relationships require unique communication strategies and boundary-setting practices. With this in mind, therapy sessions aim to help you navigate these challenges, fostering healthy and fulfilling relationships for you and your partner(s).
Respecting and honoring your voice and perspective is a central part of my approach. I believe that each client is the expert on their own experiences. My role as a therapist is to listen actively, validate your feelings, and support your journey towards self-discovery and empowerment. By creating a collaborative and non-judgmental therapeutic space, I aim to help you build resilience, confidence, and a deeper understanding of yourself.
MY BACKGROUND AND PERSPECTIVE
My identities profoundly shape my perspective and approach to therapy. Growing up, I navigated multiple cultural contexts and societal expectations, which deeply influenced my understanding of identity and resilience. My journey has been one of continuous self-exploration and challenging norms, which has given me a unique insight into the complexities of identity and the importance of authenticity.
As a child of immigrant parents from North India and Pakistan, I was exposed to a rich tapestry of cultural traditions and values, but also to the challenges of balancing different cultural identities. As I grew older, I began to explore my own gender and sexual identities, realizing that they did not fit neatly into the societal boxes I was expected to occupy. This exploration was both liberating and challenging, as it lead me to begin to confront and dismantle internalized norms and prejudices.
My personal experiences have deeply influenced my therapeutic approach. I understand firsthand the importance of having a safe, supportive space to explore and affirm one's identity. In my practice, I strive to create that environment for my clients, where we can freely discuss your experiences and challenges without fear of judgment. I use my personal insights to foster empathy and understanding, helping us navigate your journey of self-discovery and empowerment.
My approach is rooted in a commitment to social justice and inclusivity. I recognize the systemic inequalities that impact marginalized communities and strive to address these in our therapeutic work. By integrating principles of intersectionality and cultural humility, I aim to provide a holistic and affirming space for all clients, particularly those from marginalized backgrounds.
Ultimately, my goal as a therapist is to support you in becoming your most authentic self. My personal experiences of exploring and affirming my own identities guide me in helping others do the same. With each session, I am dedicated to fostering an inclusive, empathetic, and empowering therapeutic environment where every client can thrive.
INDIVIDUAL AND RELATIONSHIP-BASED WORK
My approach to sex therapy encompasses both individual and relationship-based work, recognizing that sexuality is influenced by a myriad of internal and external factors.
Each method is tailored to address specific concerns and promote holistic sexual health and well-being:
Individual Work
In individual sex therapy, the focus is on helping you explore and understand your own sexual identities, behaviors, and concerns.
This can include addressing issues such as:
sexual dysfunction
performance anxiety
body image
past trauma(s)
difficulties in experiencing pleasure
The goal is to create a safe, non-judgmental space to delve into personal histories, beliefs, and experiences that shape your sexual life. Techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and narrative therapy are often used to help reframe negative thoughts, reduce anxiety, and develop a positive sexual self-image.
By fostering self-awareness and acceptance, individual work in sex therapy empowers you to embrace your sexuality confidently and in a healthy way.
Relationship-Based Work
Relationship-based sex therapy focuses on the dynamics between partners and how these affect the intimacy and sexual dynamics in a relationship. It aims to improve communication, increase intimacy, and resolve conflicts that may be impacting your sexual satisfaction.
Commonly addressed issues can include:
mismatched sexual desires
Infidelity
navigating changes to the relationship structure
emotional disconnect
the impact of external stressors on the relationship
consensual non-monogamy
Depending on the needs of the couple, techniques from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) may be used to help strengthen emotional bonds, while aspects of the Gottman Method may be employed to develop practical communication strategies. This work often involves exploring how each partner’s individual experiences and expectations shape the sexual relationship, and finding ways to align desires and needs.
Addressing Internal and External Factors
Sexuality is not experienced in a vacuum; it is deeply influenced by both internal factors, such as psychological states and personal histories, and external factors, such as cultural norms and societal pressures.
For instance, societal attitudes towards sex, cultural background, gender identity, sexual orientation, personal values, and past experiences can all play a significant role in shaping one’s sexual identity and expression. By acknowledging and addressing these factors, therapy can help you navigate your sexual experiences and transitions more effectively and authentically.
FACTORS INFLUENCING SEXUALITY
Sexuality is a complex and multifaceted aspect of human experience, influenced by a variety of factors including family, race and ethnicity, culture, mental health, gender, accessibility, and relationships. It is important to recognize the importance of addressing these factors in order to provide a holistic and inclusive approach to sex therapy.
Family
Family dynamics and upbringing play a crucial role in shaping an individual's perspectives on sexuality. Early and ongoing messages about sex, often conveyed through parents or caregivers, culture or cultural experiences can profoundly impact one's comfort level, beliefs,
and attitudes towards sexual expression. Positive, open discussions about sexuality can lead to healthy attitudes, whereas negative or repressive messages can result in shame, guilt, or confusion.
Race, Ethnicity and Culture
Race, ethnicity, and culture also significantly influence sexuality. Cultural norms and values around sex vary widely among different racial and ethnic groups, affecting how individuals view and express their sexuality. These cultural frameworks can either support or hinder one's sexual development and comfort. Additionally, experiences of racial discrimination and systemic oppression can affect sexual self-esteem and contribute to stress and anxiety in sexual relationships.
Mental Health
Mental health is deeply intertwined with sexuality. Conditions such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, CPTSD, neurodiversity, and other mental health issues can affect sexual desire, performance, and satisfaction. The stigma surrounding mental health can compound feelings of shame or inadequacy related to sexual issues. Addressing mental health concerns is a critical component of comprehensive sex therapy.
Gender
Gender identity and roles can significantly impact sexual experiences and expectations. Societal norms around gender can dictate what is considered acceptable or desirable, often leading to internalized and externalized pressures and conflicts. For individuals who do not conform to traditional gender roles or gender identity (or who are exploring their gender identity), sex therapy provides a supportive space to navigate these challenges and embrace your authentic self.
Relationships
The quality of one’s relationships also profoundly affects sexual well-being. Healthy, communicative relationships foster positive sexual experiences, while toxic or dysfunctional relationships can lead to sexual issues. Relationship-based sex therapy focuses on improving the communication, trust, and intimacy between partners, addressing any underlying issues and conflicts that may be impacting the sexual connection.
In our work together, it is important to consider your whole experience—your psychological, social, and cultural contexts. By integrating insights from various aspects of your life, we can develop personalized strategies that promote sexual health and well-being.
Techniques and Approaches Used in Therapy
With each of my clients, I utilize a variety of research-based techniques and approaches to provide effective and personalized therapy for you. These methods are designed to address diverse sexual concerns, promote healing, and enhance your overall well-being:
Sensate Focused Therapy
Sensate Focused Therapy is a cornerstone technique in sex therapy, particularly effective for reducing performance anxiety. This approach involves non-genital touching exercises for you and/or your partner(s) that help you focus on the sensory experience of touch rather than on sexual performance. By emphasizing relaxation and mindfulness, sensate focus helps you reconnect with your body and your partner(s). This is helpful in fostering intimacy without the pressure of achieving specific outcomes.
Validation
Validation is an important element for all therapy, especially when addressing sensitive topics like sexuality. I strive to create a safe and affirming space where you can feel your experiences and emotions are acknowledged and respected. Validation helps reduce feelings of shame and guilt, encouraging a space for you to express yourself openly and honestly.
Destigmatizing
Many clients come to therapy with internalized stigma about their sexual desires, behaviors, or identities. A significant part of my work involves destigmatizing these aspects of your life. By normalizing diverse expressions of sexuality and providing education in a narrative and collaborative format, I help clients overcome societal and cultural taboos, fostering a healthier and more accepting sense of self.
Client-Centered Approach
A client-centered approach places the individual at the heart of the therapeutic process. This means actively listening to your needs, goals, and preferences, and tailoring therapy to your unique experience. By empowering you to take an active role in your healing journey, this approach enhances your sense of agency and ownership over your progress.
Human sexuality is a dynamic and evolving field, and I am committed to continuous learning and integration of new information. Staying informed about the latest research and best practices allows me to provide up-to-date and evidence-based care. I am committed to providing the most effective and relevant care.
EMPOWERING CLIENTS IN THEIR SEXUALITY
I understand the importance of creating a safe and inclusive space where you can openly explore sexual identity, free from judgment or stigma. Open and honest conversations about sex, gender, sexuality, and erotic diversity are vital to empowering folx in their sexuality and identities. These discussions allow us to embrace our true selves, deepening understanding of how sexuality intersects with other aspects of identity.
I aim to foster a respectful environment that is both sex-positive and pleasure-positive, encouraging open, consensual, and shame-free discussions around sexuality, while recognizing that each individual’s comfort level, values, and beliefs around sex and pleasure may differ. By normalizing these conversations, I work to dismantle societal taboos and oppressive internalized shame, paving the way for authentic self-expression and deeper connections in your relationships.
I provide methods and support tailored to each client's needs, facilitating both personal and relational growth as you define it. Whether you're navigating the complexities of sexual orientation, gender identity, or relational dynamics, my goal is to empower you to write and rewrite your story.
HOW TO GET STARTED
If you’re interested in working with me, the first step is to request an appointment. Once you complete the form, I will reach out promptly to arrange a free 20-minute consultation. During this call, we’ll discuss your needs and determine if my services align with what you’re looking for. This is also a great time for you to ask any questions and learn more about my therapeutic approach.
If, after the consultation, you choose to move forward, we’ll schedule your first session at a time that works best for you. I offer flexible scheduling to accommodate your needs. Currently, I am accepting new clients for telehealth sessions in both Oregon and Washington, providing you with access to therapy from the comfort of your home.
I encourage each client to explore their sexuality with curiosity and compassion that aligns with their comfort level. Contact me today to take the first step toward your mental wellness journey with Chiron Counseling.